Pieta

Pieta

I was fourteen when I cradled you in my not much more than infant arms,

wrapped you in linen cloth,

fed you with my own life force.

Rich men came and brought gifts fit for a king.

Who knew that the swaddling cloth would herald a shroud,

the myrrh would point to your embalming?

Later I lost you for a while,

hollow burning hunger of fear gnawing at my heart.

Lost in a crowd, I ran with gasping, short panicked breath.

There you were in temple splendour, teaching the teachers.

Who knew that their robes would herald the blood shed,

their headdresses would point to your crown of pain?

I watched you grow up, fine, strong, I longed to

wrap you in soft safe home,

feed you with a safer diet.

You knew who you were to be and, in fear, so did I.

Who knew that your Father's work would herald a cross,

wood and nails would point to ruin?

I wandered after you from time to time,

longed to be part of your life-changing way,

share in the bread and wine of your friendship.

You sent me away, couldn't get it done with me to worry about.

Who knew that the cheers of the crowd would herald the jeers of the mob,

the whisperings of 'Messiah' would point to Pilot's cowardice?

I was there, in the crowd, with other mothers, sisters, friends,

longed to bandage your wounds,

to tear those soldiers apart for following orders.

You looked at me and, from that place of pain, offered care.

Who knew that the heart beat of a mother's love could herald the fading pulse of her son,

the leaden weight of my grief point to your body on my knee?

I am here now, holding you, aching with the outrage of it all, and again

wrapping you in clean white linen,

wishing to trade places with you.

And a rich man offers the gift of a tomb.

This is a new reflection for Good Friday. Four other new reflections for Holy Week will be posted on www.twelvebaskets.co.uk in the next few days.

A different world

First day reports from those who have travelled tend to be rather similar - lots of references to queues, endless beaurocracy at airports and huge amounts of tiredness on behalf of the traveller - well, that's that bit covered! Sandra my colleague and now, already feeling like an old friend, and I arrived in Quito at Midnight local time last night, this was to our bodies 5am and as she had been up since 4am and me 6.30am the previous day, you can imagine our weariness.

Of course the first impression of Quito was the warm welcome from 'Fred' - well I think that's what he said his name was - he is the son of Bishop Salamon who is the leader of the Methodist Church in Ecuador. The Bishop offered an equally loving welcome and drove us through deserted streets to our hotel. The architecture in this part of town is concrete and square, with lots of graffitti. Shops were all closed last night apart from a disco/karaoke place - I suggested we visit but I think that was the thin air of 9,000 feet altitude talking!

Our hotel is a 'Howard Johnson' a reliable American chain - lovely room and really helpful staff. The security at the door last night is a mix of reassuring and disconcerting. My room is on the 12th floor and the views across the city to the hills that surround it are fabulous. Today is a rest day and will include a tour to the 'centre of the earth' - the equator. Tomorrow will be a day of more travelling, about three and a half hours to help run a worship workshop and to witness the opening of a new church building. As well as this personal blog, Sandra and I will be uploading reports to the World Church Relationships site - so watch this (and that) space!

As for 'a different world' - well that's not Quito... it is different to the world I know and experience but it is also similar in the human jumble of hope and love and anxiety and noise. What is different for me is that last time I travelled to anywhere near here, was a visit to Cuba in 1991. I wrote a journal - I still have it and love looking back at all the adventures we had. I wrote it with a pen on paper. We had no contact with home, apart from postcards that we sent, everyone had to wait until we landed back home to find out that we were ok, happy and all that had happened. Yesterday I rang Sandy from Miami, my journal is now a blog and I have 'Facetimed' Sandy and Tamsin at home, having a live and visual conversation from my hotel room. I have uploaded the first of what will be many photo's to my Facebook page - this is such a different world from 20 years ago and, if you like communication and immediacy it is definitely better. What I need to build in though is time to reflect - first impressions and reactions are not always the best, so I will want to find space to mull over all I see and experience. Sometimes being cut off from all I know and understand is important - what does it feel like to be 'dis-connected' in order to re-connect? So, after I've spoken to Rob in an hour or so, I will refrain from 'Facetiming' for a couple of days - so I can be really here.

Matthew 18 a new perspective

The realm of heaven may not be compared to a Government that wished to settle accounts with it's financial institutions. One such institution had used the funds entrusted to it to lend to others who were unable to pay it back. The institution's account books looked at first glance to be very healthy but this was not true, the value on the books bore no relation to the capital supporting the institution's debts. Many who were owed money by the institution found that their account balances were worth less or worthless.

The Government was under pressure from the media and the public to support those who had lost their shirts as a result of the actions of the institution. The institution pleaded with the Government to be let off and to continue, arguing that to be punished for its actions would be disastrous as its creditors would loose out and the world would come to an end.

The Government rescued the institution giving it lots and lots of public money, letting it go and continue to trade in a similar way to that which had led to the trouble. The institution and its shareholders were happy.

A person who had borrowed money from the institution to buy a home was unable to pay. How did the institution (so recently in receipt of grace and oodles of tax=payer's money) act? It turned the borrower from their home along with the family.

How did the generous Government respond to this graceless and cruel action by the institution? It declared that this was not its problem, cut housing benefit, made it harder for the borrower to find work and continued to offer the institution all the support it needed, giving it until 2019 to change its working habits.

And the place of forgiveness in this story....?

Getting Worship 'Right'

As a preacher who is passionate about leading worship I know that getting it 'right' is a minefield of negotiated pathways, twisting paths and a need at times to return to the beginning to start again.

The Methodist Conference Worship this morning was, I think, the nearest to 'getting it right' that I have experienced in a long time. This was certainly borne out by the wonderful atmosphere, a great sense of joy and so many kind and thoughtful words from people afterwards.

There are great challenges when planning Conference Worship, not least a myriad of decisions taken along the way to accommodate all sorts of hopes, desires, tastes, hang-ups and perspectives. There are also the institutional challenges of containing the momentous occasion of the Reception into Full Connexion within an act of worship that includes that hugely significant act but is not only about that act.

Planning begins months before and involves the President and Vice-President Designate, those responsible for the ordinands and those responsible for the due order of formal elements of the event.

The most wonderful development in all this for me has been, the increasing involvement over the last two years of superb musicians, who have a profound understanding of what happens in worship and are, like me, committed to using the best available mix of styles, focussing most importantly on the theme that will develop through the whole act of worship.

Important factors such as the use of inclusive language are made easier as our denominational resources begin to better reflect this aspiration for the church. Singing the Faith offers a range of known, loved, traditional hymns and vibrant new texts, some to familiar comfortable tunes, others to tunes that some find challenging.

Here is one of the 'pinch points' - in our attempts to please God through our worship we cannot always pick everybody's favourites and may even pick songs that some people find challenging. I think that there are some issues here that have to be considered sensitively, such as language that might re-open wounds for people who have been through trauma or have had difficult relationships. Theology is a real challenge - as a 'mainstream, liberal methodist' whose natural perspective is to focus on God's love played out on the cross, rather than a substitutional or penal perspective, there are some songs I avoid. Yet we are a broad church and that has been a challenge for those of us tasked with choosing our current authorised hymnody. I don't mind if people offer feedback about the content of a particular hymn - I do get more uptight if the feedback is about style rather than substance. We all have preferences and enjoy particular forms of singing but surely we can have the grace to allow worship to be a space in which all are able to offer praise to God, knowing that there is more than one way to do this.

Planning Conference worship is a privilege and delight and involves the making of many decisions and editing, reediting and proof-checking the text. Choosing to have a story-teller to open up the scriptures is a risk. The risk payed off today - we heard in wonderful tones a holding of each text within a broader perspective on the life of Jacob and the life of Christ. I have already picked up criticism that the full text was not on the screen, or that we used a 'paraphrase' of scripture in worship. On the screen were excerpts from the Handwritten Bible - one of the decisions to be made this year was how to include and honour that project in worship without shifting our focus from God. So a creative compromise was born. The full texts were in the printed service booklet for those who wanted to reflect on God's word as understood by the writers of the NRSV.

My favourite moments in the service (and there were many) include the sung intercessions - the solos and the congregational responses were so beautiful and prayerful and I enjoyed sourcing and choosing images from David Perry, TwelveBaskets and a free stock source (these last ones carried watermarks - but were such striking images I chose to use them - this has produced a negative comment on Twitter, I'd love the person who twittered to get in touch so we could talk about how I might have got rid of the watermark without breaking copyright law).

The music group were just wonderful, skilled and sensitive, able to take us to a new place.

I could write more - there is so much to reflect on. I'm grateful to my partner Worship Co-ordinator, Paul and Director of Music, Ian, for their incredible hard work and to all the band. Also to Joseph for his great story-telling, to Christy-Anna for sharing in the prayers, to Ruth for her praying and careful leading and to Leo for a sermon that was well-crafted, offering inspiration and was a good length.

Most of all, I'm grateful to God for helping us to navigate the minefield and for being present with us in what was a very special time of joy, solemnity, inspiration and assurance.

Capturing Light

Since January this year most of my days off have been spent at a workbench, playing with glass. I sit with a coffee, Desert Island Discs playing on the radio and decide what I'm going to make this week. Will it be some classy coasters, a large gently curving plate or bowl, some jewellery or a window hanger? Once the items are decided I then choose what colours I'm going to use - will it be vibrant sunset oranges, reds and golds, or sea blues and greens, will I use some powdered glass (frit) to add texture or insert copper foil which oxidises in the kiln to a wonderful pink or green?

So many decisions - so many things to play with.

Once my pieces are ready, they are loaded into the kiln. If it's coasters, then it will only take one firing, but a complex plate might take three. The first to 'tack' frit and powders to form texture, the second to fuse additional elements into the piece and the third to 'slump' the piece into shape in a mould.

Each firing takes about 12 hours before the glass is cool enough to open the kiln without mishap. So one plate can take three days - but the fiddly work is done before the first firing - so I can unload and reload the kiln in about 15 minutes during a break from work.

The joy of taking a beautiful item out of the kiln is wonderful. I usually have a good idea of how a piece will turn out but even so there are often surprises - the way two colours work together or some bubbles have formed, or an element of iridescent glass catches the light, or some copper has coloured - all make for delight.

When leaving college to be a minister (17 years ago!) we were reminded of the guidance in 'The Constitution, Practice and Discipline' of the Methodist Church, to cultivate a hobby! I've learnt since that the instruction should be "find a hobby that cultivates you"! I am much better at protecting my days off now and feel fed by this new creativity. I can make the process about work and theology and reflection on spiritual things (can't avoid it really) but that's definitely not the point.... I lose myself in the world of colour and shape and, to some extent, in the gadgets, tools and technical side of the glass-fusing world.

Looking forward to Trinity Sunday

A reflection for Trinity Sunday

The Weaver, The Word and Wisdom

In the beginning, the Weaver, The Word and Wisdom

moving in relationship together,

caught a vision of potential,

a glimpse of possibility, and,

with tentative steps, creation’s dance began.

Creation was shot through with the generosity of the Weaver’s grace

The rhythm of life’s passion played loudly

as a constant beat at the heart of myriad universes.

Against this universal backdrop The Word moved

and became free, small and intimate.

In the cry of a child, the song of a woman

and the shout of a dying man

the Word’s voice added melody to the Weaver’s song.

In the midst of confusion, absence and loss,

Wisdom found her way.

She had danced with the Weaver’s threads, throughout all time,

weaving a maypole dance of energetic passion.

She added harmony to the beat and the melody

and composed a symphony of colour.

If creation for a single moment fails to hear the Weaver’s rhythm,

or misses the Word’s intimate melody,

then Wisdom will dance through the silence

until all that is joins in love’s rejoicing.

Methodism - what will become of us?

I agree with David Gamble, in 100 years the Methodist Church might be part of a new church. What might that church look like?

People will love each other and the world, this will be seen in active caring and the creating of safe spaces to be themselves, to worship with freedom and integrity. It will be seen in the amount of time the work of that church is done away from chapels, churches and cathedrals, taking place rather in art galleries, prisons, hospitals, on rubbish tips, in estates and tenements, in theatres, on farms, in villages, in rain-forests and deserts.... in political engagement, on marches and rallies, campsites and mines...

All food and drink served, consumed and given out by the church will be fairly traded.

All power used will be from sustainable sources.

Worship will be a place where people feel safe to be themselves and to celebrate tastes and styles that are not their favourite but are part of a patchwork of wonder, love and praise.

It won't need the following:

"Sub-dean designate of St Albans. Masters, Prime Wardens and Upper Bailiffs; bishops, the Lord Mayor Locum Tenens, the State Trumpeters of the Band of Blues and Royals; ..., the City Marshall, the Sheriffs, the Aldermen, the Ceremoniarius (?), the Dean and Chapter, the Sword Bearer, the Serjeant at Arms, the Archbishop of Wales " as were present at a service for the 'Sons of Clergymen' at St Paul's Cathedral today.

It will be a church where women, men, children of any colour, culture, sexuality, language, psychological, physical and mental ability are not just welcome but are able to fully participate in the life of the church and in working out what kind of church it should be.

The leadership of this church will be shared and the structures of each local expression of the church will be formed according to the gifts of those who worship there. Church leaders will not burn out from overwork and will not be defensive about the way they spend their time because all feel valued, supported and loved, whatever their responsibilities.

That's just my starter for ten - and just one more thing.... is church the right word? Can we again become a movement within the realm of God?